Just Me - Being A Girl

I was writing by the pool the other day and there were some gents sitting around enjoying a beer or two, having a conversation. Nothing wrong with this - nothing wrong with it at all. Of course, the conversation eventually worked it's way into girl territory, and I sat there pretending not to listen while I heard these two guys agreeing over something that I found terribly hurtful.

"Do you know what I miss the most?"

"What?"

"Having a girl at the apartment who will do the dishes."

"Yeah."

Do I believe it was their intention to be hurtful? Probably not. But, it was hurtful just the same, and the more I think on it - the more questions I have that rhetorically answer why it is hurtful to me. And here is the list of things that continue to run through my mind.

• Why must a girl be the one to do the dishes? Is she your maid, are you paying her to do them?
• Aren't you a grown man? Do you not have two hands of your own? Are you not capable of doing your own dishes?
• Do you believe that just because you are a boy that your time is more precious than mine is because I am a girl?
• Do boys dislike doing dishes? What makes you think that girls like doing them if boys dislike doing them? 
• Why must I be maligned to housework just because I am female? Do I not have my own goals and ambitions?

That hurtful phrase, "having a girl at the apartment who will do the dishes", is not the only place that I hear this. I've heard countless fellows that admit that they prefer girls who are, "a little bit dumb," or girls who "are the housewife type".

This is not to say that I dislike girls who choose to stay home and take care of their families. I applaud those girls and the sacrifices they choose to make on behalf of their families. What I do not like is men thinking that women are dumber than they are because girls make the choice to do this; or that these women are easier to tolerate because they are of a more nurturing sort.

I will be the first to admit it. I am not like those girls, but am I less desirable because of that? I shouldn't be and I don't believe that I am. But, I'm going to put it to you straight - I also haven't been on a "date-date" in about 10 years. So, maybe the guys around me don't agree.

Still, I have never been the type to pander to anyone else's desires either. I am not the housewife type, I cannot lie about that. That is not who I am. That is not who I intend to become either.